Shifting Impulse: A BBW Bear-Shifter Romance (Complete Edition - Books 1-3) Read online

  She only nodded. She was wearing a burgundy summer flowery summer dress that complimented her curvy figure. Her breasts caught his eye as she inhaled and exhaled. Look into her eyes, Ryan. This part of the club had a different atmosphere than the men’s playroom. While that one had Red Hot Chili Peppers or other rock bands blasting from the speakers, this one had chill-out music softly echoing from the surround sound system. He realized she was quite shy as she turned cranberry red.

  Damn! I have no idea who he is, but I can’t keep my eyes off him, Celine James thought to herself. Relax, maybe he just wants a good story to tell his friends.

  “Twenty-eight, huh?” he grinned. “Does it feel any different than twenty-seven?”

  She still didn’t answer and was vaguely amused by his cliché pick-up line. She was well aware her face was getting redder by the second, but she couldn’t do anything about it. It happened every time she talked to a guy. Since her experience with guys was limited, it could be even worse. Men this hypnotizing, with muscles bulging under every piece of clothing they had on and long dark curly hair, never got anywhere near her. Of course, Celine admired them from afar every chance she got, but that was as far as interactions with this type of men went. And yet, here she was, engaged in a conversation with one of them. Well, not exactly engaged because all she did more staring at the fine specimen in front of her than talking to him. Are you lost or something, handsome?

  “Can you speak? Are you okay?” he tried again.

  “Yeah,” she mumbled. Think of something clever to say, Celine! “I was just counting the times people have asked me this today, that’s all.” Lie. It sounded smart at least.

  Ryan’s face lit up and he looked satisfied to have managed to get her talking. “Considering how many people are here celebrating your birthday, I would say you’ve heard that question way too many times today,” he gestured to the people gathered behind her, giving her the most dazzling smile he was capable of.

  “It’s actually funny and stupid that I go through this every year. They bring me a present I don’t need that ends up in one of the way too many useless boxes in my house, I go through the trouble of organizing such an ordeal, they drink, smoke, talk to each other and then leave. It’s a waste of time and effort, but what can I do? They are my friends,” she said all in one breath.

  Ryan had an idea of what she was talking about because some of his ex-girlfriends had dragged him to some of these parties and his brother had organized a surprise party for him. As a joke, of course. He had almost had a panic attack when he saw them. Apparently he was popular but he didn’t really give a damn. He enjoyed talking to people and having friends around him, but he had convinced himself it was only for business. He couldn’t have that many human friends anyway. It was too dangerous. He only trusted his brother, his father and the three bear shifter friends he had known for years and had business connections with. They were his real friends. He knew he could count on them and had done that many times since his troubled teenage years. They all called that hormonal and confusing period of their lives the roaring thirteens. It was their private joke for the most challenging time in their lives and a cue not to talk about it that often. The guys –Raddler, Alex and Leon – were also in their thirties now and they got on well ever since they first met. They also trained together when Adam and Ryan went up in the mountains for some well-deserved holiday or just when they were too angry to be around humans. Raddler was the oldest in their group, Leon was their age and Alex two years younger.

  Ryan knew Celine’s situation was a common problem humans had. Especially since social networking had such a strong impact on them. People were in fact lonely, very lonely creatures. He was lucky to have this connection to his twin and the fact that they were shifters only helped them keep close to each other better. Speaking of which, something was up with his brother as well. Curiosity and warmth flooded their link for a few minutes now. His brother was overwhelmed by something or someone maybe. What were the chances, though?

  The flashes and feelings he picked up from his brother were usually very different. It was usually numbed anger. He understood it and he knew his brother had been blocking him out of his head and heart for years now. Even in their bear form he had been distant. Adam had always been a loner but lately it was fucking depressing to see him like that, without a will to live anymore. Obviously Ryan was surprised to discover their link being flooded by such feelings, especially now when he was trying to make sense of his own feelings and attraction to the intriguing, stunning, deliciously soft woman in front of him.

  “So what would be your idea of a great way to celebrate your birthday?” he found himself asking. Even though his brain was starting to get a bit foggy because of his brother’s intrusion, he fought it in an attempt to block his brother out. He had some practice doing that given that his brother had been haunted by the same dream for about seven years. Those blue eyes that sent both their hearts into overdrive and jolted both of them awake in the middle of the night. He didn’t severe the link. He never did that as he was afraid it might close forever. He imagined his bear encased in a white bubble of light and some parts of the outline were smudged like red lipstick on a woman’s lips in the movies.

  That was going to keep his bear from connecting with his brother. Once he did that he felt his bear’s focus coming back to him and he had a flash of him kissing this woman. It was true that he found her extremely attractive, but he didn’t take orders from his bear. It was just an animal. One that constantly tortured him with its desires and needs, but he had learned to handle it in time. All that was going on inside him was shoved in a corner of his mind now. He was experienced enough to do it that fast and come back to reality.

  She didn’t seem to have noticed the struggle in him. She was deep in thought, unaware she was playing with the red wine glass she held in her already sweaty hands.

  “Well, I don’t really know. I’ve never thought about it actually. When I was a child I liked to try new things for my birthday like painting, doing things with my hands, going hiking, cycling or just walking around in the mountains with my father and my brother.”

  The last word came out almost as a whisper and he could read sadness all over her face. He wanted to ask more but didn’t get the chance as his line of thought was interrupted by a shrill.

  “Heeey, Ryan! How are you, dude?” Janet, the bartender, asked with her usual excited voice, interrupting their already awkward conversation. Thank God! Celine felt a tinge of jealousy as she heard her best-friend greet this mountain of a man in such a familiar manner. She knew Janet was single and she tried to remember stuff about her past relationships that could indicate she had had something with this guy, but she couldn’t find any.

  “Hi there, Bubbly,” Ryan said while preparing himself for one of Janet’s signature hugs, which came as soon as the words left his mouth. It was the one reserved for people close to her heart, but with him it was short as always. He had seen how she took her time when she hugged her girlfriends.

  She backed away and his attention returned to Celine who looked confused.

  Celine and Janet had known each other for three years and at first she thought she was into girls as she told her about all the men who thought that just because she worked in a club she should be bought drinks and picked up at least by five different men every night. She had always envied Janet for her success with men. Celine had always wondered where her friend found all those handsome men. Janet’s ex-boyfriend was as tall and massive as the guy in front of her. Maybe they went to the same gym. She never heard her mention the guy in front of her as a close friend, so she made a mental note to ask her what the deal with him was. She was crazy to get her hopes up. He didn’t look like the type of man her parents approved of. Maybe he was just trying to make the fat birthday girl feel good about herself on her birthday. That was probably it.

  Janet looked from Celine to Ryan, poked his bulging chest with her finger and said in a friendly to
ne, loud enough for both of them to hear her “She’s my best friend, so careful with the claws!” she smiled and headed back to the bar.

  Both Celine and Ryan burst into laughter. She liked how the expression lines around his mouth deepened as he laughed from the bottom of his heart.

  “I feel like one of her possessions whenever she says that,” a now flushed Celine admitted. “It’s cute, but sometimes annoying.”

  Celine’s friends were singing “Happy birthday” again. A clear sign they were drunk. She turned around to look at them. The smile she gave them was a really pitiful version of the smiles she had for him. It was obvious this wasn’t exactly her scene. A group of three women were looking at him with a very clear intention and they were giggling in each other’s ears, probably encouraging one of them to come and talk to him. As he thought about this, one of the women, the deep-cleavage-short-skirt-long-legs style stood and made her way across the room to where Ryan stood.

  Once she got there, she placed her hand on Celine’s shoulder and asked her to be introduced to him.

  Ryan was so not in the mood for the gold digger, but he wanted to stay. He smiled politely and introduced himself. “I have to go,” he suddenly heard himself say. “Happy birthday again, Celine!”

  He turned around and headed for the door. He had to get outside, away from this woman who drove him crazy. He had to check on his brother and he couldn’t do it in this crowded place.

  Once outside, he found his car, a Range Rover Sport, and dived in. The first thing he had to do was call Janet. He needed to get Celine’s number. The address wouldn’t be a problem. He knew what he would do even before thinking it. What a stalker he was! Dialing Janet’s number, he heard her laughing.“Let me guess, big guy. You want her number.” How did she know? Was he that obvious?

  “Are you psychic now or what? And yes, you’re right.”

  “I was hoping not to be right. She’s sensitive, Ryan. Not cut out for your lifestyle. And she’s my best friend. I can’t just watch her get hurt like that. The answer’s no.” From the tone in her voice, he knew she was serious.

  He cleared his throat, hoping to convince her. “It’s not like that, Bubbly. You know it’s been years since Joana. I haven’t been interested in women ever since.”

  “You’re a shifter, Ryan. For crying out loud. Sex addict is your middle name. I know from experience and I don’t want her to go through that,” she sighed and he knew she was talking about her ex, the guy who cheated on her whenever he got the chance. He heard the music fade into the background and he knew she had moved to the back, focusing on their conversation. She was serious.

  “Janet, listen to me,” he said in the tone he used to intimidate his employees and make them obey him. “I’m not looking for a quick, easy fuck. She does things to me that no other woman has before and I haven’t even touched her. Ever. Do you understand me?” He waited.

  She didn’t back down. “Your tone doesn’t intimidate me, Ryan. I’m not your employee. I noticed how close to the surface your bear was. How aroused you were. Get a grip on yourself and leave her alone,” she thundered.

  His bear made a threatening growl. “I think that’s for her to decide. Come on, Janet. I promise I won’t hurt her. Just give me her number. I’m asking you nicely and you know that’s not my style. If I just want to fuck a woman, I ask her and I leave with her in the next half an hour. Did I do that? No. I just want to give her a birthday present,” he pleaded.

  “Fine. But you know I’ll come after you if you hurt her. You know that, don’t you?”

  “Yes, I do. Thanks, Bubbly! I owe you,” he said as his tone softened.

  So far, so good. Now it was time for the second call. No, wait. It was time to check on his brother. He checked the time. It was exactly one hour later. When had so much time passed? Probably he had stared at Celine for longer than he realized. He put the phone on the seat next to him, closed his eyes and focused on the connection. He couldn’t pinpoint the location of his brother, but he felt peace and something else he was surprised about. Arousal. As intense as his own. Why? Was his brother with a woman? He didn’t want to know details about his brother’s sex life so he severed the connection like before. He needed to focus on his own life.

  He relaxed in the chair and closed his eyes. He thought of Celine and flashes of them going at it over and over again, everywhere in his house played in his mind as if he was watching a movie, not simply thinking about a woman he had just met. It was then that he had a great idea. He knew what kind of birthday present she would like. The only problem was he just didn’t know what he felt for this woman or why. Was it just lust like he had never experienced before or was he just going nuts? Maybe his bear was confusing his brother’s state and imagining things. He had to talk to someone who was more experienced in this department. All the guys he was friends with were single, so he realized talking to them would be no good. He mentally ticked off the list all of his friends and was left with only one quite unpleasant alternative. He had avoided Dylan, the Alpha who practically educated him and his brother during their crazy teen years, for almost three years. They didn’t have much in common anyway. Then there was the age gap. The man was fifteen years older than him and quite reclusive. He had to come up with something to say to Dylan.

  He picked up his phone, searched for the number and dialed. Shit! It was almost midnight. Before he could hang up, a groggy voice answered.“Yeah?”

  “Hey, man. It’s Ryan. I didn’t mean to wake…”

  “Cut the crap and tell me what you want from me in the middle of the night.”

  Ryan heard Dylan get out of bed and close the door. The Alpha was giving him all the attention he was capable of.

  After a few seconds of silence, Ryan admitted his problem. “I met this woman and I don’t know what to do. My bear is trying to take control over me and I have no idea how to handle this, man. I know this isn’t a good enough reason to call you now, but I thought…” Thought what, Ryan? Saying it out loud makes you sound like a chick!

  Even though he scolded himself for being weak, Ryan was grateful that the Alpha was taking this seriously.

  “What kind of shifter is she?”

  “The human kind,” he tried to ease the tension of the conversation.

  “Shit, man!” he cursed. “Not again! Fate is dealing you some nasty cards. Do you remember your mother’s letter?” Dylan asked.

  Memories of that night made him feel a cub again. Too young, abandoned, angry, helpless. He was five when both he and his brother were woken up by the same nightmare. Someone had died. It felt like a part of their heart had been sliced open. Their father had come to their room to check on them. The terrified look on his face told them he had dreamt the same thing. Their mother, his wife was dead. She’d just vanished into thin air a week before and that night they had felt her last moments. She had been tortured and killed. They couldn’t feel her presence anymore. They never found her body or any information about her untimely demise in spite of the capable private detectives they hired. They’d kept to themselves all their lives and even though they had become rich business people they valued their privacy more than the money, so not much about their personal life was out in the open. That night they found a letter on the kitchen counter. Remembering his mother and that night especially was like ripping the band-aid he had carefully placed over that part of his heart. He didn’t talk about it with anyone. Not even his brother. Not even his father.

  He tried to sound like he was in control of the situation but deep down his bear was fighting him even more. “Yeah, which part?”

  “The one about your mate.”

  “Dylan, we both know that’s bullshit.”

  “Then why did you call?”

  “I called because…” and he stopped. He had called him because he had a mate and cubs. “You have a mate and you look in control of your bear,” he whispered.

  “When was the last time you changed?”

  “Two w
eeks ago.”

  He sighed. “What did you do? You controlled your bear into submission, didn’t you?”

  “You know that was the only way. I’ve been doing it for years. Otherwise I couldn’t have built this business and been around people. I had to choose. I found a way around it. I try to control the connection, but it’s not working anymore. It’s like she opened Pandora’s box and now I’m overwhelmed by all of this. Tell me what to do to reverse it. To close the link.”

  “You can’t reverse it. Your bear has chosen his mate and shit is just going to get serious. Deal with it. Show your grizzly some respect, it knows better than you do.”

  “I can’t believe I’m listening to this crap. I have no idea how to deal with it. That’s why I called you. If I do what I feel like doing, it’s not going to end well and she’ll get hurt.”

  “Well, what’s your bear telling you to do? Fuck her like there’s no tomorrow, again and again, then bite and make her yours?”

  “How did you know?” Ryan whispered.

  “That’s the mating and claiming ritual, you dumbass. You can’t escape it now. The thing is, if you connect with the animal inside you and change as often as possible, then she has a chance to make it out of it alive.”

  Ryan couldn’t believe what he had just heard. “What happened with Joana wasn’t on me. You know that. I have no clue how to deal with this woman. Things are just so different from last time. Does that mean I might kill her?”

  “Yeah, you might. The animal usually gets restless if he is apart from his mate and then is reunited all of a sudden. Your connection to her is quite new probably so the bear hasn’t got the hang of what’s happening yet. If you keep close to her, even something as simple as a light touch can calm him down, so your relationship can have a slow progress.”

  “I see, then I’m glad I called you, instead of someone else. Keep in touch.”

  “Night, Ryan,” and the line went flat.