Shifting Impulse: A BBW Bear-Shifter Romance (Complete Edition - Books 1-3) Page 5

  She seemed to calm down after some minutes. His hand had been caressing her hair and her face was buried in his chest.

  “Please tell me what’s wrong. Have I hurt you?” he asked concerned.

  “No, it’s not that.”

  “Then what?”

  She was embarrassed to be saying this and wasn’t even sure the words would come out of her throat. “We used no protection, Adam and I don’t want any children,” she blurted out.

  “Oh, that. Don’t worry about it,” he said calmly.

  “How can you say that?”

  “You’re not fertile tonight,” he said, touching her womb.

  He wanted cubs. He didn’t quite feel ready, but then again you were never ready for the things that happened to you. He had learnt that. One day, sooner than later, that would happen now that he had found his mate.

  She pushed him away. “And how would you know that? Are you psychic?” she was furious now.

  “You’ll just have to trust me. One day I will tell you everything. Let’s just say I have a gift and I am more in tune with nature than most people,” he smiled.

  “I hope you aren’t lying to me. You’d better not be a liar or else…”

  “Or else what?”

  “I’m screwed.”

  “You are everything to me. I can’t take the risk of doing something to lose you.”

  She liked the sound of that and she wanted to go back to hugging him, but she didn’t. It felt too cheesy to be real.

  “How do you know that?”

  “I knew it when I saw you that night in the club. You are perfect for me.”

  “Haha, I’ve heard that before. I have experience with your type. You say that and then you leave.” He could tell she was serious.

  “Have I disappointed you so far?”

  She thought for a minute only to voice a conclusion she didn’t quite like. “You haven’t. I have to admit. I didn’t expect you to barge into my house and do what you did to me.”

  “I know you liked that more than you care to admit.”

  “I just hate you right now!” she said as she punched his shoulder.

  He could see the orgasms had done their job. She was more relaxed now and it was all his doing. “Let’s start over. What do you say? I’m Adam and I’m absolutely fascinated by you,” he said confidently.

  “Hmm, I’m Anna and I love that tongue of yours,” she smiled.

  Her smile was like a candle in that dark room. It was the first smile he had ever seen on her face. It looked so good on her face that he decided he would give her more reasons to smile and even laugh. He laughed as he kissed her. He was sweet and the way he laughed purified everything around him, she had to admit. And he was strong. And annoying.And scorching hot.

  “You never told me why you did that by the way.”

  “Did what?”

  “Hug me like that in that club.”

  “I’m not sure you want to hear this.”

  “Yes, I do. Come on, tell me,” she demanded jokingly.

  “Back to bossing me around?”

  “Don’t change the subject.”

  He pondered for a moment what he should do and decided to tell her. “I knew from the moment I saw you that you were the one for me. It clicked in my head. Just like the thought that you would like me touching and hugging you.”

  “You’re messing with me, aren’t you?” she said as she pushed him away. “A guy who looks like you doesn’t talk about love at first sight. Who do you think I am? A teenager who believes everything a guy says?”

  “I’m not expecting you to believe me. To understand. But I am willing to wait. You are worth the wait.”

  “I don’t even know who you are. And I slept with you. God. What kind of person does that?”

  “Give me time. Go on a date with me. I don’t know anything about you either.” Only that you are mine and that’s all that matters. His bear wanted to add that, but he didn’t think it was the best time to do it.

  She shook her head “No, I can’t do that. I’m sorry.”

  “Why not?”

  “Our deal was one night. Nothing more, as far as I remember,” she clarified.

  CHAPTER SIX

  She was doing it again. It was going to be difficult to get close to her. This required an intervention. He knew just the thing to make her change her mind.

  He grabbed her hands, rolled them both on the bed and pinned her to it. She looked so little under his towering body. So little and so feisty that it turned him on beyond belief.

  “Get off of me, you brute,” she screamed as she fought him. She had to admit this was a seductive situation. Such a hunky man, muscles bulging from all the right places, including his shaft, was holding her immobile while they were both as naked as the day they had been born. She couldn’t give in to his charms. Just couldn’t. She refused to obey to men.

  He was stunned by how beautiful she was, those big blue eyes flashing him the angriest and most arousing look he had ever seen. She hated not having control and that triggered anger so close to the surface, it was visible in her eyes.

  Then it dawned on him. How could he have been so blind? “You feel it too. That’s why you are so angry,” he whispered.

  “Feel what? I only feel your hands leaving bruises on my skin. Let me go,” she demanded while still struggling to get free.

  “You are attracted to me. That’s the problem. Why are you so angry about it?”

  “It’s none of your business.”

  “It is my business. I’m making it my business. Tell me, Anna.”

  “I hate men. They are liars, players, irresponsible, stupid children. I don’t get involved or trust your type. There you have it. That’s the reason I’m so angry. Happy now?” she barked the words out.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Well, it’s simple. As much as I liked what happened tonight, this can’t continue. My life is a mess right now and I simply don’t have the time, energy or desire to deal with this.”

  “You don’t have to deal with anything you don’t want to. I’m here for whatever you need me to be. I can be your toyboy, punching bag, pillow to sleep on, shoulder to cry on, clown, bodyguard. Whatever you need. Just say the words.”

  That sounded even more tempting than the first proposal. How was he so good with words? How did he know his way into her head and bed?

  “You’re funny. I bet you say that to every woman you sleep with. Actually, I bet you change them every week. I don’t believe you, Adam, so just drop it.”

  He really didn’t know what to say now. He had been with women in the past, but not like this. It had been in the form of serious long-term relationships. All of them futile attempts to find happiness on his own. A stupid form of rebellion on his and his brother’s part. Those hadn’t been happy times. He regretted it somehow now, but he couldn’t change the past, and she was right in a way, so he couldn’t just deny it if he wanted her to give him a chance to show her what he felt.

  “What do you want me to do?” he couldn’t believe he was really asking this. It was clear what she wanted. Him to leave. That had been the purpose of this fight.

  “Let me go and leave,” she said unemotionally, although she hoped he wouldn’t actually do it. She was challenging him to keep his word and stay. She just couldn’t tell him to stay. He had to decide to do it.

  “If that’s what you want,” he said as he kissed her forehead and released her arms.

  He climbed off of her and stood. She pulled the sheets to cover herself as her eyes followed him out of the room. Her eyes were used to the darkness now, and she could see the sadness in his eyes as he left. You’re so stupid. Why did you do that? You could have told him to stay and he would still be here holding you. Her brain scolded her but she was too proud to go after him and ask him to stay.

  She heard him getting dressed and then the front door slamming. She couldn’t take it anymore. Her eyes just didn’t want to obey her mental comm
and not to cry. Hot tears found their way down her cheeks and dripped off her jaw on the sheets. She used her hands for support as she cried. It was liberating. All the frustration and anger were so close to the surface, she felt she could and should smash something.

  These feelings had been simmering for months now, but she refused to acknowledge them. She was used to putting up a wall between her feelings and the rest of the world. They were hers to deal with and she didn’t want to do that, so they had been shoved under the carpet in the deepest corners of her mind indefinitely. She cried as she remembered her previous boyfriend that cheated on her, the one before that, who told her she was too much for him to handle, and the one before that, who simply depended on her for everything. And they called themselves men. Whatever. They were all gone now. Adam was gone too and she was alone. Even her cat was nowhere to be found. This was the edge of the abyss she had been trying so hard to avoid. She was crying never-ending tears of frustration, pain, betrayal, rage. Everything she had felt.

  She didn’t know how long she had been crying for when she felt warmth around her. A comforting presence. Maybe her head was playing tricks on her given that it hurt so much she felt it was going to explode any minute now.

  She felt Adam before she heard or saw him.

  He was there, in her room.

  He hadn’t left.

  He sat on the bed next to her and opened his arms for her. She seized the chance and snuggled into his arms, her wet face against his hard chest, and her arms around him. It was a touching moment to witness. He cradled her as he rocked their bodies in reassuring movements he remembered his mum used on him when he was young. That was pretty much all he remembered about her. He was five when she died. She had been his rocking chair, and it soothed him and his bear in a way nothing could. And now it was his turn to do this for his partner.

  “Shh...” he said as he ran his hand over her hair. She needed to know he was here for her. “It’s okay. I’m here. I’m not leaving again.”“Come on, let’s get you comfortable” he said as he lay down taking her with him.

  He kissed her lips and this time she didn’t resist him. She didn’t even have the strength to do it. Nor to speak. Nor to think. She only wanted to sleep. And he was there, holding her and caressing her hair. Sleep came easily and fast, as someone putting a blanket over her that night.

  Adam couldn’t sleep. He felt bad for leaving her, but it had been necessary. That was the way to help her. He didn’t know how he had known that. She had made him so angry he wanted just to change and run in the forest. Run until his bear calmed down. Run until he knew what to do and how to deal with her. But this time his bear didn’t want to run. It wanted to stay. To let her vent and then go back to her.

  He had obeyed it. It had sounded like a good idea. Yes, after the flash he had had when she was under him struggling and staring back at him with those eyes. The same eyes that had haunted him for years. He understood why now. Such a wise bear. It had kept subtly reminding him of his mate so he recognized her when he saw her again.

  He liked how she acted in her sleep. Her actions told him more than her words and attitude when she was awake did. She hugged him so tight as if she never wanted to let him go. She grabbed his ass and squeezed it. She kissed him so passionately he even thought she was awake. She nuzzled his neck with her small nose. It was adorable and hot at the same time. His mate knew what she didn’t know she knew. She knew he was hers. She even smiled when he squeezed her ass. Her body reacted to him. Her body and subconscious mind were attracted to him. She was so different when she slept. He was sure she didn’t remember any of it, but he would mention that when the time was right.

  Anna woke up in the same position as that first morning. This time around, she decided to spice things up a bit and wake him up with something that included a happy ending. Adam was woken up by a deep, passionate kiss that tasted like toothpaste. He definitely could get used to this. If only it lasted. He had a feeling it wasn’t going to be that easy though. He didn’t open his eyes. He just opened his mouth and kissed her back, softly and sensually rubbing his tongue on hers. She rubbed herself on him and she felt good against him. His hands found their way to her hips, grabbed them and pulled her as close to him as he could. His bear groaned as he discovered she was dressed. In some scanty shorts and an oversized T-shirt, he had to admit, but clothes nevertheless. He wanted her naked. Soon.

  She felt what her kisses did to him. The bulge in his jeans was bigger than she remembered. It was all going according to her plan to give him a bit of his own medicine. She moved so she was on top of him, pinning him down and straddling him with force she didn’t even know she had. Now she was in control. She was really enjoying herself. Seeing him at her mercy, being able to do with him what she pleased, gave her enormous satisfaction. She had never thought she could feel so well in her own skin, in her bossy shoes, while doing a guy like this. He didn’t seem to mind that she was bossy, he encouraged her even. He remained in that position for some time as she kissed him again.

  When she had broken the contact of their lips he opened his eyes, surprised to see what she was doing. Only the thought of what she wanted to do to him made his blood boil. He didn’t resist it. On the contrary, it looked like progress. Like she was accepting him. She seemed so satisfied to be on top of him. The glimmer in her eyes told him how much she enjoyed being the one in control. He craved for her touch, but this didn’t feel right. Not after what happened last night.

  “What are you doing?” he asked trying to make his voice sound playful instead of accusatory.

  “What do you think I’m doing?” she said playfully.

  He decided to take matters into his own hands. In a blink of an eye, the roles were reversed and she gasped in surprise. She found herself his prisoner again, this time in the position of sex slave. She felt anger creeping up to the surface and she was embarrassed to be so exposed, all sprawled on the bed, this time at his mercy.

  “Why did you do that?” she said with disappointment in her tempting voice.

  “Because you don’t owe me anything. This morning is about you. Me worshiping you, more specifically. Touching every inch of your soft body. I want you to trust me. To let me in,” he said as he moved a finger from her earlobe to her jaw and her lips. It was tempting, but now wasn’t the time.

  He expertly and slowly licked her lips and bit her lower lip, filling her brain with flashes of them doing it. She kissed him back, their lips clashing, driven by need and desperation. He ran his fingers on her cotton T-shirt, found the hem and slid his hand under it to touch her. She felt amazing. So perfect for him. Every touch and lick turned them both on, and they were lost in the flow of what was happening. He pulled the piece of cloth by the hem in an attempt to get it off her.

  “Adam, stop,” she whispered.

  “Why?” he asked as he clearly was confused about what was happening. “Don’t you want to make love to me?”

  Embarrassment washed over her and she turned red. “I do, it’s not that. It’s just…”

  “It’s just what?” he looked at her, and for a second her face reminded him of the lost woman she was last night. Lost. Vulnerable. Sad beyond recovery. A broken person. One that had been through a lot but was still standing.

  “I don’t want you to see me in this position.”

  “What position?”

  “Me naked in broad daylight. That position. ”

  “Why wouldn’t I want to see you like that?”

  “Because you would leave. Just look at me. I’m not who I once was.”

  “Are you talking about you crying?”

  “No, I’m talking about me being overweight, with all this floppy skin everywhere. It doesn’t feel too flattering to be naked now. Just look at me, I’ve got more curves than half the team at Victoria’s Secret all together.”

  “Wait a moment. Are you embarrassed about your curves?”

  “I am now that you’ve put me in this unladylike position,�
�� she blushed.

  He wanted to laugh given that he found the situation funny. She looked just fine to him. He liked women with some meat on them. The thin, fragile-looking ones, like she had once been, didn’t have any effect on him.

  “Don’t move,” he whispered.

  Instead of laughing, he just looked in her eyes and stamped her skin with kisses. First on her lips, then her cheeks, her neck, her shoulders and made his way to her breasts.

  “I love these. Do you hear me? I love all of you.”

  “You don’t have to lie to me. I’m well aware of how things are and I’ve accepted them. But I do things on my own terms.”

  “Well, you don’t seem to believe anything I say. You’re kicking me out without even giving me a chance. Without getting to know me. Baby, you are the only woman that has given me the best sex of my life last night, that has made me feel wanted for who I am and made my blood boil. The fact that you have curves only adds to how much I want you.”

  She couldn’t believe her ears. “Really? How come?”

  “Well, last time I checked I was too big and rough for some skinnier women who made it very clear to me not to come near them again. Not many women can accommodate my size, so they end up getting hurt and I only get blue fucking balls.”

  “So you’re telling me you’re only here for the size of my pussy? And I was right about you being a player. I knew it,” her blue eyes widened and became just like the ones that had been haunting his dreams for the past few years.

  “It’s not like that for me. When I was younger, I thought I couldn’t live without a woman’s touch. After some years I realized I could. I haven’t been with a woman in years. I’ve been searching for you. You were made for me. You, all of you. Your big oval blue eyes. Your tight, juicy pussy. Your smooth wavy hair. Your warm thighs. Your lush breasts. All of you belongs to me,” he said raking his fingers on every body part he mentioned.